And now for something completely different: What's the Deal With Hiccups?

I am, by nature, an obsessively curious person. One night my curiosity got the better of me  when I was being plagued by hiccups so badly that I couldn't sleep and I decided that I had to understand them better. The following are the results of that research:

What causes hiccups?

Hiccups, A.K.A synchronous diaphragmatic flutter and singultus, involve a surprisingly complex mechanism which is not completely understood, despite how common they are.
The short answer is that hiccups are caused by a spasm of the diaphragm. The diaphragm is a large, dome-shaped muscle which sits just under the lungs and helps in both inhalation and exhalation by either pushing or pulling on them. When the diaphragm gets on the fritz it jerks sharply on the lungs, pulling air in. The quick-moving gulp of air slaps the epiglottis closed and makes the classic, irritating, "hic" noise.
But what makes the diaphragm act up? Quite the number of things, actually. The most common causes are overeating or eating too quickly. But hiccups can be, in rare circumstances, symptoms of serious nervous disorders. Other infections can also cause hiccups.

"Cures"

There is an innumerable and absurd amount of hiccup "cures." The vast majority are based on folk medicine and some are just down right funny.
Here's some of the best I've found. Some may work, some may just be entertaining. So that you know that I'm not making these up to mess with you, I've included my sources for some of the truly strange ones.

• Drink a teaspoon of fresh onion juice ("Secret Food Cures" by Joan & Lydia Wilen)
• Hold a mouthful of water and firmly press each of your middle fingers into your ears. Count to 100, then swallow and unplug your ears ("Secret Food Cures" by Joan & Lydia Wilen)
• Sing opera. This one actually makes sense to me since opera requires control of the diaphragm and should whip it back into shape.
• Place a teaspoon of salt on half of a lemon and then suck the juice out of the lemon.
• Visualize a rabbit.
• A classic remedy involves swallowing a teaspoon of granulated sugar. The irritation should interrupt the nerve impulse causing the spasms.
•  Many people have advocated bending forward and drinking a glass of water. You'll have to tip the glass away from you and drink out of the far end.
• Of course, everyone's heard of getting the hiccups scared out of you. Turns out, this could also overload the vagus nerve and stop the spasm.
• Pull hard on the tongue (Journal of Clinical Gastroenterology)
• You know that strange little ball that hangs in the back of your throat? The uvula? Gently lift it with a spoon (Journal of Clinical Gastroenterology)
• Take a deep breath. Sip an entire glass of water while plugging your nose. (I forget where I read this one but it has always worked for me)

Interestingly, there are even hiccup "medications" available.

Could they help you lose weight?

A question I've been asked, and seen asked on various websites, is: How many calories do hiccups burn?
I've done a considerable amount of research and come up with this answer: Not enough to matter. I could find no reliable source which says to me that the people who would be in charge of figuring out that sort of thing don't consider it worth their time. If I had to guess I would say that the number is less than one calorie. The mechanism behind hiccups, even the most painful case, is a short, reflexive spasm which does not require very much energy to accomplish.